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Replacing One Concept…With Another: Attachment and Addiction


To fear attachment…to fear addiction…is just as disorienting as being attached or addicted. In any of these cases, one systemic omission of awareness may be observed. We are not being present.
It is one thing to acknowledge that we may be attached or addicted to something. This is a powerful position to be in, because at this point, we are observing what IS, and being honest enough with ourselves to admit it. But it is also a razor’s edge. The mind can quickly pull us from our observation station, even in the most subtle of ways, by deeming something as ‘bad,’ to be forcefully resisted, and avoided. I have seen it to be all to often the case, including in my own experience, that if it is discovered there may be an attachment or addiction energy associated with a certain individual, habit, or thing…the mind enters into reaction mode, and starts to play the opposite game. Just because one approach may be the extreme opposite of another, it does not make it any less extreme. Balance is found in presence.
So, now in reaction to avoiding attachment and addiction, we have become attached and addicted to avoiding attachment and addiction! This conundrum can present itself in very pronounced outward erratic behavior, which can be extremely confusing to those around us. I experienced this recently with a friend, who literally told me that ‘she had to break herself of her attachment to wanting to be my friend.’
In this unfortunate scenario, this individual has been a victim of her mind’s own self-preservation tactics; meaning the mind will take on whatever position it has to, so long as its ‘story’ allows it to remain relevant. It matters not if it entertains opposite extremes. She recognized an attachment to wanting to be my friend, deemed it as something ‘bad,’ and to be avoided, and so entered into that opposite extreme, which as far as I’m aware, she remains in today. This kind of reactive and sudden ‘swap’ of the mind’s position is endemic in all of us, because the mind never wants us to be at peace.
So then here we are, thinking we’re on top of our game, that we must be arriving at a whole new level of awareness…when really, we’ve quietly replaced one concept-based habit with another. We have now sheathed our original layer of attachment and addiction, in a shiny new layer of an attachment and addiction to avoiding attachment and addiction! Do you think that the original observed attachment and addiction have now been addressed?
It is likely the case that we have only added to our mind’s’ ‘rubber band ball’ of stories, which keep us from being at peace. In my experience, the only way for an attachment or addiction to fall out of our lives…is just that; to allow it to naturally fall away. Any time we try and force something, we only end up compounding the core of the misconception that brought it about to begin with. It’s kind of like hammering a nail in too far… Or stripping the head of a screw. In both cases, they become ingrained in the wall. Maybe we’ll paint them over…but they’re still there.
It is the mark of a very awake and aware being to recognize an attachment or addiction, acknowledge its presence, and naturally transmute that energy, without the need for outward reactivity. Attachment…addiction…are not these evil demons to be feared. They are simply the result of our own inability to be present within ourselves, and exist as mirrors, pointing to this truth. If we can hold our presence in observation long enough to clearly see our reflection, we can learn that much more about ourselves. And we don’t have to shun away the world around us to do so. In fact, we may even find we’re inviting it in!
©2014 BEjoyfuLiving


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